The Best Questions For A First Date

February 8th, 2011 by Christian Rudder

First dates are awkward. There is so much you want to know about the person across the table from you, and yet so little you can directly ask.

This post is our attempt to end the mystery. We took OkCupid's database of 275,294 match questions—probably the biggest collection of relationship concerns on earth—and the 776 million answers people have given us, and we asked:

What questions are easy to bring up, yet correlate to the deeper, unspeakable, issues people actually care about?

Love, sex, a soulmate, an argument, whatever you're looking for, we'll show you the polite questions to find it. We hope they'll be useful to you in the real world.

First—define "easy to bring up"

Before we could go looking for correlations to deeper stuff, our first task was to decide which questions were even first-date appropriate. I know each person has his own opinion on what's okay to talk about with a stranger. I also know that if I had to wade through hundreds of thousands of user-submitted questions like these verbatim examples:

If you were to be eaten by cannibal, how would you like to be prepaired?
do u own 3 or more dildos in your room?
Do you hsve a desent job?

I would go fucking insane. The basic currency of the Internet is human ignorance, and, frankly, our database holds a strong cash position!

So, instead of judging each question's first-date appropriateness subjectively, I turned to statistics. I decided our candidates were the ones that (a) most people were comfortable discussing publicly, and (b) were mathematically likely to tell you something you couldn't just guess. I sliced OkCupid's question pool like this:

That blue rectangle is our highest-quality, least-invasive questions, and we next examined each of them for interesting correlations. (If you're interested in knowing more about the above graph, you can drop-down an explanation here, complete with an interactive scatter plot that took me forever to make.)

Now let's get right to the results. This is the shallow stuff to ask when you want to know something deep:

Okay, if you want to know...

Will my date have sex on the first date?


  • Do you like the taste of beer?


Among all our casual topics, whether someone likes the taste of beer is the single best predictor of if he or she has sex on the first date.

No matter their gender or orientation, beer-lovers are 60% more likely to be okay with sleeping with someone they've just met. Sadly, this is the only question with a meaningful correlation for women. For men there are a few others:

predictive question implied odds
of first-date sex
Q: In a certain light, wouldn't nuclear war be exciting?
Q: Assuming you were in the position to do so, would you launch nuclear weapons under any circumstances?
Q: Could you imagine yourself killing someone?

First, I have to give guys credit for logical thinking: in the post-apocalypse, THERE ARE NO SECOND DATES.

Also, I will never look at fingerless gloves the same way again.

If you want to know...

Do my date and I have long-term potential?

Ask your date (and yourself!)...

  • Do you like horror movies?
  • Have you ever traveled around another country alone?
  • Wouldn't it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?

Of all questions appropriate to a first date, the three listed above were the ones couples most often agreed on.

Here's how we know...

When someone deletes their OkCupid account, they have these 3 questions correlated best to a real-world relationshipthe option of giving us a reason, and if that reason is 'I met somebody on OkCupid,' they can give us their significant other's username. Many hundreds of people a day go through the trouble of doing this, so we've compiled an excellent dataset of real-world couples. Agreement on these three questions correlated best to an actual relationship.

In fact, 32% of successful couples agreed on all of them—which is 3.7× the rate of simple coincidence. These questions as a trio even out-performs OkCupid's top three user-rated match questions.

Turistas: the best date movie of all time?

If you want to know...

Do my date and I have the same politics?

Ask him or her...

  • Do you prefer the people in your life to be simple or complex?


We were very surprised to find that this one question very strongly predicts a person's ideas on these divisive issues:

Should burning your country's flag be illegal?
Should the death penalty be abolished?
Should gay marriage be legal?
Should Evolution and Creationism be taught side-by-side in schools?

In each case, complexity-preferrers are 65-70% likely to give the Liberal answer. And those who prefer simplicity in others are 65-70% likely to give the Conservative one.

This correlation is for a nationwide dataset; it won't be as useful in places where one ideology is much more prevalent than the other. For example, in New York City there are lots of people who like simplicity and yet have Liberal politics.

If you want to know...

Is my date religious?


  • Do spelling and grammar mistakes annoy you?

If your date answers 'no'—i.e. is okay with bad grammar and spelling—the odds of him or her being at least moderately religious is slightly better than 2:1.

As someone who is not himself a believer, I found it rather heartening that tolerance, even on something trivial like this, correlated with belief in God, although I should've figured out that religious people are okay with small mistakes. Next to intelligent design, what's a couple typos?

It's also nice when two completely independent datasets corroborate each other. Last summer, we analyzed the profile text of half a million user profiles, comparing religion and writing-level. For every one of the faith-based belief systems listed, the people who were the least serious wrote at the highest level.

Proper spelling and grammar. Teach teh controversy!!!

231 Responses to “The Best Questions For A First Date”

  1. Matt says:

    Since you’re ‘very, very smart’ then you should understand how statistics work. One exception (or even many) to a statistic doesn’t ‘wholly refute the data’, it would just make you an “outlier”, or put you in the upper quartile of the group.

  2. wateralto says:

    So since those 3 questions are so well correlated with long-term durability, how do you use them in giving members their % of compatibility? Do they count more than the other questions that match?

    BTW, whether or not someone is annoyed by poor grammar does not mean the same thing as whether they can write well. I would skip that question and just ask if they are serious about religion.

    I like SOME beer, but it is not my first choice for a beverage and I don’t sleep on the first or 2nd dates. Actually, these days I don’t see the point in sleeping with someone unless I know him very well.

  3. beauxq says:

    Judging from all the comments here from people that don’t understand statistics, I fear that too many people are going to go on a date and ask their date “Do you like the taste of beer?” and the date will say “yes” and then the person will say “Ok, let’s go get a room.” …and it won’t go well and they will think okcupid is stupid.

  4. Tyler says:

    “This can’t be true. I’m a devout Christian and very, very smart so my personal experience wholly refutes this data.”

    Typical ‘I’m right, and everyone else is wrong’ thought process of any other christian. Once again denying science and test results. You’re just made because you know it’s true.

  5. Marc says:

    Some people are posting responses saying things like “But I don’t do these things!” Remember that you are one person, and the people that you know are just a few more people. You are nothing compared to the overall amount of users polled for this sort of thing. You may be an outlier, sure, but overall, the statistics tell all.

  6. jungleboyx says:

    This is the funniest thing I have read in a long long time. Facts and figures, charts and graphs to show the data…with the most amazingly ridiculous conclusions but guess what? I think I believe it, will probably even try some of the questions out myself. “Crazy but true”. You hear that alot, so…Next you should do a study on top ten questions you can ask to spot a crazy chick. LOL

  7. Dan says:

    About the “beer question”… If someone likes the taste of beer, often it’d mean their brain has made an association between the rewarding effects of alcohol and its taste – making the taste subjectively better than, for comparison, the first time they ever tasted alcohol (I believe it’s called “sensitisation” in addiction neurobiology). So occasional drinkers, under this theory, would have a less strengthened association between alcohol taste & the ensuing pleasant effects, and perhaps not like its taste as much as the seasoned drinker whose brain maintains a strong connection between the two (making it seem nicer). Non-drinkers even less so. Question for drinkers: do you remember the first time you tasted alcohol (likely as a teenager)? I’m guessing you liked it less than you did when being a regular, moderate drinker. I for one found the taste of alcohol relatively unappealing until I’d enjoyed several mild intoxications.

    The anti-alcoholism drug disulfiram makes it so alcohol only causes negative effects when drunk, and some people say after doing this, they like the taste of alcohol less and sometimes find it disgusts them, now the brain has changed the taste into a negative association.

    Point is, liking of alcohol taste might be a good indicator of frequency/quantity of drinking, and statistically, it’s a fair bet that the more someone drinks on a first date (this being related to their general level of drinking, unless you’re a particularly insufferable person on the date haha), the more likely it’ll be that they’ll have sex due to lowered inhibitions. Some of that may seem obvious, but just my take…

  8. teetotal says:

    so if I say I like Belgian beers (the strong stuff) what does that say about me?

  9. Cloud Pictures says:

    That ‘splains why my matches are left-wing atheist/agnostics who think I’ll be easy – when all I want is a salt-of-the-earth, extremely intelligent, conservative cowboy.

  10. 66step says:

    Who’s to say that the believer’s aren’t more likely to use OkC?

  11. Chaos says:

    The correlations drawn from this are hilarious. I would answer yes to all the questions correlated to having sex on the first date… I have a very high % of having sex on the first date. In fact, in many situations, sex comes before the date and then the date just seems like the right thing to do.

  12. Scott says:

    I love it. Excellent information.I love it when the secular world just confirms the Bible.

    1 Corinthians 3:18-20 “18 Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, he must become foolish, so that he may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God. For it is written, “He is THE ONE WHO CATCHES THE WISE IN THEIR CRAFTINESS “; 20 and again, “THE LORD KNOWS THE REASONINGS of the wise, THAT THEY ARE USELESS.”"

  13. Scott says:

    More on the Wisdom of Man vs God…

    1 Corinthians 1:18-30

    18 For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written, “I WILL DESTROY THE WISDOM OF THE WISE, AND THE CLEVERNESS OF THE CLEVER I WILL SET ASIDE.” 20 Where is the wise man ? Where is the scribe ? Where is the debater of this age ? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world ? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. 22 For indeed Jews ask for signs and Greeks search for wisdom ; 23 but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness, 24 but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 26 For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble ; 27 but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, 28 and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, 29 so that no man may boast before God. 30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, 31 so that, just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.”

  14. me says:

    @tripseydaizey : I wouldn’t correlate importance of grammar, education or religion with intelligence myself, but somehow you did exactly that. To me, that is neither a sign of intelligence nor of proper education.

    Very interesting article and I would like to see some international comparison.

  15. dre says:

    I love the three questions you came up with. I would say yes to all three and I’m thinking back to the few guys I’ve met through OKC and I don’t think they all would agree. However, I do have a date with someone Friday who would, so here’s hoping that works out.

    I think people shouldn’t be taking the religion and literacy question personally. Of course you can probably think of a hand full of people who disprove the outcome. But its a generalizations. Across the board those are the results. And I’m an Agnostic but I majored in Catholic Studies and Art History. I know more about religion than most religious people. I can easily believe the statistics found by OKC.

    Thanks for the article. I think its fun that you guys use the information in such unexpected ways.

  16. ct says:


    (whose comment was: @ Cosmic_7: How can you make a valid point when you are writing in incomplete sentences? My God likes me to work on my education so that I can be the brightest and best person possible. That’s why he put me here, not to sit around and waste away.)

    Wow. Cosmic_7 had two spelling errors: since/sense and right/rite. No incomplete sentences though; each one had a subject and verb. There weren’t even any run-on sentences.

    Maybe we could just start teaching grammar and spelling in sunday school? In medieval Europe, the church was the main (only?) supporter of literacy among the commoners. It just needs to update its standards a little bit.

  17. Sequoia says:

    @everyone who responded to duckumu:
    You should all take your humor detectors into the shop, they need a little work.

    @everyone else who’s a “smart christian” or “beer-hating nymphomaniac”:
    The plural of “anecdote” is not “data.” ;)

  18. Sarah says:

    Okay, it ate my comment before, so I’ll say it again:
    The grade level of your writing is not a measure of your intelligence or your vocabulary, it is a measure of how large a vocabulary you expect your intended audience to have.
    An 8th grade level sounds bad until you realize that Obama’s inaugural was written at an 8th grade level, as are most newspapers.
    The graph does not imply that protestants are uneducated, it implies that they are talking down to their potential dates in overly simple language.

  19. morei says:

    no one has commented on this – or can someone please explain this:
    “Do my date and I have long-term potential? Ask your date (and yourself!)…
    » Do you like horror movies?
    » Have you ever traveled around another country alone?
    » Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?”

    BECAUSE I would HATE to do any of the three listed: (Horror movies give me nightmares, what’s the point of traveling alone (its expensive & you have no one to share the memories with), and I get sea sick . SO DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE NO LONG-TERM POTENTIAL with most American Men? Seriously, why do these couples like to do the above three things? Am I missing something?

  20. maninnyc4u says:

    I love the Taste of Beer. Now what does that tell you ladies?

  21. Gwan says:

    For those getting het up about the (average, mind you) highest reading level being only at Grade 9, I took the trouble of running my own profile through an online test, and, as I suspected, the grade level was lower if I included the ‘list’-type questions (favourite movies, 6 things you can’t live without, etc.) than if I removed them. I scored a 11.1 based on the description section, whereas it fell to a 10 for the profile overall. Which stands to reason – you don’t usually find complex structures (or even full sentences) in a list of your favourite things.
    However, I don’t specify the strength of my belief (or non-belief in my case) on my profile, which doesn’t seem to be an option in the graph above.
    I also agree with the commenters who have asked for some more geographical breakdowns/non-US data – I understand the US provides the largest data set, but it would be interesting if OKC could use its data to tease out some of the cultural differences between you guys and some of us in other parts of the world.

  22. The Capn says:

    I’ll have to disagree about the religious question, though you did state 2:1 odds on it, I’m fairly religious, but TYPING IN ALL CAPS, tYpInG lYkE tHiS or poor grammar/spelling in a user’s profile can pretty much ensure I won’t talk to them unless it’s only something minor, (something that is obviously a typo rather than a direct pointer at their intelligence). I’m not at all interested in people who type in txt spk, yet Religion is very much a part of my life.

  23. David says:

    While the first question (Do you like beer?) is interesting, it would be interesting to see, not just how it correlates, but how that correlation varies from other questions. Especially with men, while it is clearly predictive (over 80% of men who like beer would have sex on a first date) the same might be true of many other questions. They gave some other examples, but I’m sure there are more.

    Like, “Are you breathing?”

  24. Michael S. says:

    These are statistics, they find the average, not the unique. Your case would be prevalent in quite a few people, just not the average. No one question can define a person, but you have a higher-chance of guessing someone right using these questions.

  25. Eric says:

    Mr Whysper doesn’t understand statistics. The personal experience, “I’ve known people who fall outside of your average or don’t fit your generalization” rebuttal argument is a prime indicator of ignorance.

  26. LOL@spellingMissSteaks says:

    I have been laughing at every one of your posts. Can’t anyone on this site spell worth a damn? Hahaha. It’s quite amusing. Keep ‘em coming, folks! Even your critics have made spelling missteaks. Welcom to teh interwebz peopols.

  27. T says:

    Loki, do you have a link for those Pew sample questions? I’m curious.

    I take my faith very seriously, have a post-graduate degree, and work as a professional editor. “Outlier” is stamped across my forehead.

  28. Andy says:


    “Agreeing” doesn’t necessarily mean “agreeing yes”.

  29. Professor says:

    @morei -
    Not really paying attention, are you? The point was not that compatible people LIKE these 3 things. It was that compatible people AGREE on these 3 things.

    Hey I have a bigger correlation to the first date sex question: Are you a male? 99% correlation! P.S. – Males that answer “no” on a survey are just trying to look less like the pigs we are. Sorry. :)

  30. mmshel says:

    Morei, the article did not say that both people answering had to say “yes” to the long term relationship questions, rather that “the three listed above were the ones couples most often agreed on.” So, as long as you were dating someone who would hate to do those three things, like you would hate to do them, you should be (statistically) compatible..

  31. Denise says:

    So now when I go on a first date with someone I met on OKC and he asks me “do you like the taste of beer?” then I’ll know just what he’s after, huh? Interesting article but at the same time, talk about first dates being awkward, it will only be that much more if someone is working their way through a bunch of random questions. How about just relaxing, enjoying yourself, and deciding later if you want to see the person again? Also, it’s hard to work with some of those stats when you put in a caveat about their generalizability…so we can’t use the liberal/complexity question in New York, but where else shouldn’t we use it?

  32. Michael Straight says:

    Protestants who are serious about their faith tend to date people they meet at church or via other church-related functions, so I’m guessing that the group of seriously-religious protestants who use OKCupid is far less representative than the seriously-atheist atheists who use OKCupid.

  33. Bill says:

    @morei: The conclusion is that a couple with long-term potential tends to agree on answers to those questions, not that they always answer ‘yes.’ Meaning, in your case, you should find someone else that dislikes horror movies, traveling alone, and/or sailboats. According to these statistics.

  34. Thomas Jørgensen says:

    re: Morei. You misunderstand the point. The finding was not that people who answered yes were more likely to form a couple. The finding was that matches that answered those three questions in the same way were more likely to form a couple. IE; that if your answer is “no, no and no”, then you are not likely to hit it off with someone who answers “yes, yes and yes”

  35. LamKram says:


    No, no, no. You misunderstood the data. It’s not that successful couples DO all those things. Its that successful couples AGREE on all those things (either positively or negatively). If you hate horror movies, find a man who also hates horror movies, and you’re more likely to have a successful relationship…

  36. Brooke says:

    morei: you don’t have to like to do the 3 things listed above. You just have to agree with your date on your answeres to the 3 questions. For example, a man who hates all 3 of the questions would be a good fit for you, since you hate them too

  37. Anonymous says:

    To all of the commenters complaining that the religion/spelling and grammar correlation is unfair, remember: The plural of anecdote is NOT data. Yes, some of you are both religious and well-educated. Yes, some of you are atheist and couldn’t write at a third grade level. However, that just means you’re outside of the norm based on the statistics OKC has been able to put together.

    Generalizations, when applied unfairly to individuals, do cause problems. I would never use a spelling/grammar test to figure out if an individual was religious or not. However, if I wanted to discuss the wide-spread problem of poor education in this country, I might start by reminding the religious that the god they believe in supposedly gave them their amazing brains for a reason, and perhaps he’d be pleased if they’d all start using those brains a bit harder.

  38. Celeste says:

    To all of the commenters complaining that the religion/spelling-and-grammar correlation is unfair, remember: The plural of anecdote is NOT data. Yes, some of you are both religious and well-educated. Yes, some of you are atheist and couldn’t write at a third grade level. However, that just means you’re outside of the norm based on the statistics OKC has been able to put together.

    Generalizations, when applied unfairly to individuals, do cause problems. I would never use a spelling/grammar test to figure out if an individual was religious or not. However, if I wanted to discuss the wide-spread problem of poor education in this country, I might start by reminding the religious that the god they believe in supposedly gave them their amazing brains for a reason, and perhaps he’d be pleased if they’d all start using those brains a bit harder.

  39. beady says:

    morei, I think the point is that if you’re a good match, you’re likely to agree with the person on your choice of answer on these three. Whether that be 3 yes’s, 3 no’s or a mix.

  40. poe's law says:

    I am Christian but have perfect grammar. Therefore these statistics are flawed.

  41. Gwan says:

    I think my previous comment went into a black hole. Anyway, @morei – no, you don’t have to like those things, you both have to agree on either liking them or disliking them.

    Everyone’s who’s getting all agitated about the top (average, mind you) reading grade being only a 9 : I was interested enough to check this out by running my own profile through an online test. As I suspected, the result was lower if I analysed my entire profile, as opposed to if I analysed the description of myself only (Grade 10 vs. 11.1). Why? Because obviously lists of ’6 things I couldn’t live without’ or ‘My favourite bands/artists/books’ etc. are not normally loaded with complex vocabulary and syntax. Furthermore, once you get past a basic mastery of grammar and vocabulary, is it really a badge of honour to write at a ‘higher’ level? These analyses test how readily someone at a certain level of READING competence can understand your text, they’re not, as far as I’m aware, meant to judge how good a writer you are. And, in any case, most people aren’t out to write a university essay here…

    One more thing – my profile doesn’t state the strength of my belief (or disbelief, in my case) – I don’t see how people like me who didn’t answer that portion of the question are factored into the results above.

    Okay, two more things – I agree it would be interesting to see a post on how US/non-US users differ. I realise the sample sizes would be different, and that ‘everywhere other than the US’ is hardly a homogeneous group, but it would be fun!

  42. Ivar says:

    morei: No. Its not saying your answer to those questions has to be yes. Its saying that your answer and your dates have to be the same.
    If you don’t like any of those three things, then statistically, you double your odds of longterm potential by dating people who also dislike all those things.

  43. Charles Bucolicowski says:

    9th grade level is the highest??? Data seems to support my hypothesis that people who frequent dating site are morons.

  44. Dragon Dave says:

    “Yes” to those questions is only good if the other person also answers “Yes”!
    You’re looking for guys who answer ‘No’ to those questions – and by no means do most American men answer Yes to all (or some) of those questions.

    Don’t worry.

  45. Mark says:

    Morei.. it’s not that they have to say yes to the 3’s that they must have the same answer… that could be Yes or No.

    I don’t like horror all. I wouldn’t probly ever date somebody who REALLY liked them. Because fundamentaly I don’t like what horror films are about… and that’s the point. These questions seem simple on the surface but they also say a lot about a persons character and personality…what they find interesting, values etc. without you having to ask those specific and sometimes very boring, tedious questions.

    I’m always impressed with OKC test and statistics…makes me feel like I’m part of something bigger…. I’m contributing to the science of relationships. Good to know what I can do and say to improve my chance at meeting the right person/s for me.

  46. David says:

    Morei, it doesn’t men that at all. It means you should be looking for someone with the same answers to all three questions as you have. Having the same answers to those three questions correlates to long term compatibility.

  47. aeschenkarnos says:

    @morei: The article asserts that couples whose answers *are the same* to those particular questions, are more long-term compatible. Thus if your answers to all three are “no”, it is 32% likely that your long-term partner, when you find one, will also answer “no” to all three.

    The assertion is that if A answers “no, yes, no” respectively, and later settles down with B, it is 32% likely that B’s answers are also “no, yes, no”. Which also means that it is 68% likely that B’s answers are not exactly the same. There are 8 possible yes/no answer combinations to these questions, taking no account of actual “maybe” answers (eg, A may love horror films that are intellectually scary such as Let The Right One In or The Silence Of The Lambs, but is deeply disgusted by gore-fests like the Saw series or House Of 1000 Corpses).

    The deeper lesson is that the three questions all speak to relative fearfulness, independence, imaginativeness (including to some extent, degree of emotional affect by imagined states of being), and what one finds to be fun, and all of these factors are very important to emotional compatibility.

    For you specifically morei, the implication of “no, no, no” is that you are (perhaps) a person who dislikes risk, enjoys the comforts of home, enjoys a comfortable home, is more emotionally affected by ideas, and (probably) is more empathetic than adventurous. (I would venture to guess that you are not likely to have sex on the first date, or if you do, that you are not likely to have a second date.)

    You are probably more compatible with a man who has the same values. So, you would be well served to seek men out in ways that appeal to that personality type – have conversations that include at least some scope for he and you to display empathy and/or adventurousness (which is really what those questions are about), associate yourself with home comforts (for example, a very good second or third date for you to suggest would be a meal cooked together at your or his home), and most importantly, realize that your own risk aversion is standing in the way of your happiness. Reframe the risk you perceive in dating, for example – it should be a fun, low-pressure opportunity to get to know a person and maybe hang out with them more on a friendly basis. There may be a sexual spark, there may not, but for you, it is vitally important that it arise in circumstances where the risk is reduced, ie when you are already positively inclined towards your dating partner.

  48. Malcolm says:

    “This can’t be true. I’m a devout Christian and very, very smart so my personal experience wholly refutes this data.”
    Um, this is clearly sarcasm, everyone. Anyone take it seriously…shouldn’t.

  49. Hugo says:

    Great article, as usual!

    I was thinking about something someone wrote a couple of replies above. Indeed, you could come up with a better alternative to Hofstede’s (1983) “dimensions” with that little database of yours. Improve the measures of cultural distance and you could end up in one of Gladwell’s books yourself :) Greetings from Holland!

  50. Lifedancer says:

    Morei, please calm yourself and re-read the statement:

    Of all questions appropriate to a first date, the three listed above were the ones couples most often agreed on.

    If you hate the idea of the three things listed, the statistics merely suggest that your best bet for a long-term relationship is with someone who dislikes them equally. Although that may not be “most” American men, I would think you should still have plenty of choice.
    In my observation, sometimes liking or disliking some of the same things can indicate whether or not a relationship is likely to last long-term…